Anyone who has known me for any amount of time is thinking right now that I’ve lost my mind and seriously forgotten who I am. Maybe they’re right. I am the epitome of a night owl. I am most alert and energized around 8:00-11:30pm. If I go to bed “early” it could take me hours to wind down and just.stop.thinking. And eventually fall asleep. It takes me a looong time to feel awake in the morning. Getting out of bed in the morning has been a lifelong struggle. I can’t recall a day in my life, ever, where I felt rested when I woke up. Each and every single morning, the only thing I want to do is close my eyes again. I sleep most soundly in the early morning hours. I’m not exaggerating. It is very difficult to put my feet on the floor at any time of day, 6am, 10am, 12pm (those college days, though…). It doesn’t matter whether I slept 7, 8, or 12 hours. It never feels like enough.
Most of my life I’ve had to wake up relatively early. Starting with elementary school, walking to the bus stop before the sun came up (literally), through working early mornings at hotels and restaurants, to having 2 babies that are the worst of the early-birds. I mean wide awake, chipper, ready-to-take-on-the-world kind of early-birds. 5am early-birds. You would think at some point I would get a little used to it. I’ve told myself a million times I would change my ways, been jealous of every “morning person” out there, and resigned myself to the idea that I am cursed and it will never get any easier. I’ve tried a couple tricks, none of which have worked. For the past 9 months or so, except for the brief stint where my husband and I lived in different cities for 3 months, Johnathan has been very gracious to let me sleep-in in the mornings, until he leaves to go to work. He will never understand what it means to me (because he’s one of those morning people, and couldn’t possibly understand the torture I endure every morning between opening my eyes and….I don’t know, 9am), but I will forever be grateful for the extra minutes of sleep he’s provided in the most tired season of my life.
I wish I could say I’m good once I’m up, but no. I’m not. I will crawl back into that bed in a heartbeat. Say I am somewhere that for some reason I have to get dressed before walking out of the bedroom, I have no shame in going back to said bedroom, getting back into my pj’s, and laying right back down under comfy covers. That whole “put the alarm clock on the other side of the room” thing? Yeah, it’s never done a thing for me.
I explain all this to say, it feels pretty impossible to me. Unimaginable that I could change, that I could enjoy mornings, or even get out of the bed with ease. But y’all, I’m gonna do it. I am putting it out there, for the world to see. Maybe I’ll fail, but maybe I won’t. And I wholeheartedly believe, if I can become a morning person, anyone can.
Usually whenever I resolve to change something, or take on something new, I don’t talk about it, and I definitely don’t tell my husband (anyone else?!?). That way, if I change my mind about changing my ways, I can just go back to whatever I was doing before and no one will give me a hard time about it. I mean, I can’t have anyone pointing out how awful I’m doing at something I thought up myself, right? “Setting Yourself Up For Failure” should be the official name of this practice.
So….I’m enlisting Johnathan’s help, and the help of anyone else who is interested in holding me accountable. I don’t have a real plan yet, so I’ll need to figure that out quick. I would love any tips from lifelong morning persons, or night owl converts. I’m also happy to have anyone join me on my quest to not hate mornings (maybe one day I’ll love them, but baby steps). Please, feel free to ask me how it’s going!