As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t know a whole lot about pregnancy before I entered that stage of life, but if there is one thing that I picked up somewhere along the way, and that you can’t possibly get through pregnancy without a million people telling you, is that you “can’t go past 42 weeks”.
I had a normal, low-risk pregnancy with our first. I was sick and awful tired for the first 16 weeks or so, didn’t gain a whole lot of weight, but I totally made up for it after I started feeling better. There were never any indications that we should be worried about anything. It honestly did not occur to me that I might not go into labor within the “safe” 37-42 week window. Even at 40 weeks, I remember sitting in my midwife’s office and thinking, “The baby will come before I hit 42 weeks. It just will.”
If you’re not aware…it’s not really super popular or common for anyone to go past 41 weeks. So everyone was pretty cool about everything until oh, about…40 weeks and 5 days. Then, friends and family started getting stressed out. I think this happens to everyone who still has a baby inside their body on their due date, but the texts and calls asking if the baby was here yet, or any signs of baby, were constant. When you’re told as long as you can remember that you don’t go past 42 weeks, it starts to get a little stressful as that day approaches. I’m sensitive and if you remember, I didn’t feel like I had a whole lot of support throughout this pregnancy about the decisions we were making. And if you know ANYTHING about pregnancy, it’s that it causes you to be all sorts of hormonal and emo. I could not handle everyone expressing their worry to me about my baby. Didn’t they think I cared more about my baby’s health than they did? Several people actually said things along the lines of “this isn’t good for the baby.” I was hurt by others’ assumptions that I wasn’t caring for my baby, or concerned about the possibilities. At 42 weeks and 1 day, I turned my phone off. I knew I couldn’t handle any more questions or (what felt like) accusations. I was beyond stressed as it was, and I didn’t need anyone else contributing to it. It’s been said that stress can delay or stall labor, and while I have no research to back this up, I really believe the anxiety I was dealing with slowed things down. Which might go right along with why my labor lasted for 3 days. Anyway…
The basis for the decisions we made regarding pregnancy and childbirth were not just about doing things “naturally”, it’s more than that. It’s deeper than the newest trend. Our decisions had everything to do with the Lord’s design and His sovereignty. We chose to trust that He created my body to give birth, and that His design and timing is perfect. My midwives said all the time, “there’s never been a woman who didn’t go into labor!” We really believed that the Lord was in control, and that He was completely capable of bringing a healthy baby into the world outside of the time frame that has been deemed safe by medical organizations. Now I know about The Fall and how sin and brokenness has entered the world. But we believe that the creation and bringing forth of life belongs wholly to the Lord. This was not a process we were okay with interfering with. Induction was never on our radar. I can’t say what we would have done differently if there had been signs that something might be wrong. But there weren’t, and we recognized that if our baby happened to not be perfectly healthy, that it would be within the will of God. Not that God brings about brokenness, but that He does, in His sovereignty, allow it, and that He could allow these things to occur at 39 weeks or at 43 weeks. We have research and a little bit of knowledge, but His ways will always be higher than ours. He is not bound by our knowledge of how things work, or what’s normal.
“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:25
It was pretty evident through all this that a lot of people have issues with trusting the Lord…and issues with other people trusting the Lord. It was apparent that A LOT of people put a lot of faith in the medical industry and in the wisdom of man. So much so, that it seemed incomprehensible to them that we wouldn’t do the same. I realize there isn’t much we have to wait for in America. We can easily take matters into our own hands pretty often. But what about when people don’t? Is there really anything wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with waiting on the Lord?
Thankfully, I eventually went into labor when it felt like I never would, a beautiful, healthy baby boy was born, and we named him Jones. We had a couple wonderful, peaceful, uninterrupted hours with him before we announced his arrival to anyone. He is sweet, outgoing, loving, defiant as all get out, and I praise God often that he is happy and healthy all the while praying for his rebellious soul.
I know my friends and family had the best of intentions, and were genuinely concerned. But here’s to hoping that next time we find ourselves disagreeing with the decisions of those we love, that we can evaluate why it makes us uncomfortable, where we are putting our trust, and if we’re giving them the space to follow the Lord where He leads them.
“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” Philippians 2:12