As I sit here, I’m at a loss for words. I feel like I’ve been trying to process all the events/articles/debates of the past few weeks at lightning speed and my brain.just.can’t. I feel confused and…weird, because I can’t sort my mind out. Like some thought needs to rise to the top of it all and I just need to grab THAT. Maybe I just need to give it more time.
I’ve felt so many things over the past couple weeks. Thankfulness that the Lord is so evident and that He is capable of using evil for good. Thankfulness that the people of this state have completely seized the opportunity to add their voice and do what they can to remove a tangible symbol of pain and oppression from our statehouse grounds.
I’ve been saddened by the negativity and lack of understanding of others. The ones asking what the flag has to do with the crime that was committed at Emmanuel AME. The answer is not much. The ones asking how in the world this will fix anything. The answer is it won’t, and the people who want to get rid of it don’t care. It’s not about how the Confederate flag played a role in all this, it’s about loving people. I’ve been saddened by the lack of grace shown to those crying heritage and history. I get that it’s hard to deal with not being able to make people see what you see, but telling them they’re ignorant in some form or another certainly isn’t going to help them come around.
I’ve been confused by people comparing what happened in Charleston to what happened in Ferguson and Baltimore. Dylann Roof was a 21 year old kid. Those riots in MO and MD were about law enforcement officers continually abusing their authority to oppress people of color. I’m not in any way justifying the responses of the people in those cities, but I think denying the difference and claiming that we’re better because we’re above all that rioting nonsense is just dividing us further. It proves that we have no idea what those people have been dealing with their whole lives, and I don’t know that saying “they’re idiots and we’re not” brings any unity.
I don’t quite know what to make of all the same-sex marriage talk yet. I think I’m supposed to feel something…but really, did anyone not see that one coming? When the Supreme Court announced months ago they were ruling on it once and for all, there was kind of only one possible outcome. I guess I accepted this one a while back…so I don’t have much energy to enter that conversation right now. I actually have 14 articles open on my phone right now that I’ve intended to read, but I just can’t make myself interested in what everyone is saying about this one issue right now.
In light of everything going on with ISIS, the TPP, burning churches, and mandated vaccination in California, I’m stressed. I think that’s the best way to describe what I’ve been feeling for over a week now. Overwhelmed and stressed. A little fearful. I have little to say at the moment regarding all of these things, just that I’m stressed about the implications of it all. But amidst changes in our country, in security and freedoms, I am incredibly grateful for my salvation. I am thankful that the Lord is Lord over all. I am thankful that this world is not my home, that my hope is not in my government, my country, myself, that my hope is in the One who has overcome the world.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33